


Poems I wrote to cope with heart break

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Pain, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23302798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Just poems I wrote to deal with my feelings.Decided to put the boys in to express it all, so it's a heavy mix of my experiences with barely a story behind it.Warning: heavy angst, at least in my opinion.Heartbreak sucks.
Relationships: Jake English/Dirk Strider
Kudos: 3





	1. Wanted

Perhaps it's the way he looked at you,  
Like you were meant something.

He was your first call, the first to fall by your side.

Love is a dangerous game you think.

Some, like him, are quiet, and suddenly your embarrassed by how much he meant to you. 

Each memory is a warm smile, glossed pale yellow in your mind as recount the endless hours and confessions. The unworried laughs and the comforted tears. He held you like you were wanted by him.

I think that's all you ever wanted.

But then he started to burn, and under his skin something old began to crawl. You put your arms out for him but comfort is not your strong hold. 

You closed that all off for years now.

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I dont know how to help you.

There is a gap between you now, when he speaks with others you are not part of the conversation, you try but you both know your insecurities well now. You're worried sick but what can you do? He's happy isnt he? Even when he doesnt feel like your friend.

Its because you're no longer wanted. Needed.

You truly are selfish. 

Everybody has somebody but you, and you always asked why.

This is why.  
He changed and he scared you and now your memories together taste bitter. 

Romance hurt. Your skin hurts too.

Stupid stupid stupid. You left him.

Suffer with your thoughts, you cant trust anyone with them nor does anyone want to care.


	2. To find solace is a job best left to the dead

I think...theres a sort of peace with you.  
Now that we departed.  
Letting you go was like sand through my fingers.  
I hate the beach.  
But I Iove(d) you.  
I think that's why it's easy.  
We stuck around because we cared for each other. That didn't mean we were good for each other.  
Part of me wants you to suffer. To prove that I had some value of comfort.  
Part of me doesnt want that, wants to be able to hold your hand and be consumed in a sense of comfort and love.  
You were the only person who has convinced me that I am loved, if not by everyone, at least by you.  
I dont have that comfort now. It hurts.  
But it brings peace.  
I hope you are okay.

I hope you have a comfort. Because it seems that whatever you do in life, a piece of my heart belongs to you.  
I'm okay with that.  
I'm sorry.


	3. Picture perfect

I saw a picture you drew for me today.  
Your the only one who ever seemed to care about my book, the others got bored after a while, you didnt.   
Or, at least, if you did you still listened.  
And as I cleared my laptop of old junk I found the photo, tucked away on the homescreen.  
Took you 20 minutes to make.

I cried.  
A bitter hole in my heart.  
You are truly gone.  
For good, I hope.

I wonder if you find the old pictures your drew for me, if you'll do the same.

You won't, but a man can pray.


End file.
